On Strength

During my aching, long five mile run today I wondered if my 40 miles a week was enough to build strength to transition to the longer runs needed to train for a half marathon. "Why," I muttered aloud, "should I waste my time and the time of everyone else by running 11 minute miles in 90' heat if I'm never going to improve?" I saw my husband and kids. "I look so fat after I run," I sighed as I saw my reflection in the mirror after my run. "Look how my abdomen sticks out. Its bigger than my boobs." After a sigh, my spouse said kindly, "You're not fat. You run. You're strong. Don't worry about it."

And yet I do worry. Am I strong enough? The mirror says no. Delivering two sons has changed my physique. Yet I still do so much physically. I run forty miles per week, give or take 800 meters. Am I fast enough? Is speed an effective measure of strength? What is even the definition of strength?

Strength, as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary:

• the quality or state of being physically strong

• the ability to resist being moved or broken by a force

• the quality that allows someone to deal with problems in a determined and effective way (1)

Yes. I run. It hurts. But I still do it effectively, daily. With determination. Unbroken by the forces of labor and time.

I thanked my husband tonight. Its nice to have someone cheering for you when you're down on yourself. Try to remind yourself that you, too, are stronger than your reflection.

(1) Merriam Webster Dictionary. Retrieved 12 Aug 16 from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/strength